Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Why Oppose Pornography?

This excellent article was copied from a blog titled 'Pornography is Oppression.  an anti-consumerist, feminist view.

Here is the link:

https://pornographyisoppression.wordpress.com/oppose/?blogsub=confirming#subscribe-blog

WHY OPPOSE PORNOGRAPHY?

WARNING: This page contains descriptions of pornography/sexual violence.

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Pornography is a product created through the exploitation of non-unionized labor within a multibillion dollar industry with ties to most major media corporations including News Corp., AOL Time Warner and Disney. Its effects are profoundly detrimental.
Despite the frequent assertion by unquestioning, unconfronting parroters of pornographers’ sales talk that pornography is fantasy, the truth is that it eradicates fantasy. The consumer/masturbator is not fantasizing but passively taking in the pornographic imagery. In the absence of any active cogitation, the pornography colonizes the consumer/masturbator’s imagination.
To aver that this colonization does not occur, or that pornographic media does not have profound effects upon the viewer would be absurd. A cursory examination of contemporary culture shows quite clearly that media affects thought and behaviour. If it did not, advertising wouldn’t work. Producers are even able to manufacture desire for things people never before felt that they needed (e.g. spinning hubcaps, triple penetration).
So, what is the content of pornography? What are these colonizing images and what thoughts, desires, attitudes and behaviours do they enforce/reinforce?
In its most seemingly innocuous form, pornography is pictures of nude women in postures of sexual access. This type of “softcore” pornography enforces the notion that women are sexually available to men by right of purchase – that they can be reduced to two-dimensional images, consumed and disposed of without a thought given to their humanity.
“Hardcore” pornographic images of unsimulated prostitution aggressively enforce the status quo by conditioning the consumer/masturbator to associate sexual pleasure with domination. Women in pornography are frequently slapped, choked, spit upon and have penises forced into their throats until they gag. These are real women; in order for these picturs to be made, these acts have to be performed upon people. In pornography, words used to refer to women are usually abusive. Not content to limit themselves to the traditional “cunt”, “bitch”, “slut” and “whore”, pornographers have recently introduced “meathole”, “cum dumpster” and many more terms of contempt.
There is no human misery that pornographers will not exploit. There is slavery themed pornography; there is Nazi themed pornography; there is pornography of anorexics and of maimed women. Much mainstream pornography is blatantly racist (e.g. the website Ghetto Gaggers, the video I Can’t Believe You Sucked a Negro, and the hateful cartoons that are a staple of Hustler magazine).
Pornography enforces misogynistic beauty standards, influencing women in and outside of the industry to submit to the surgical violence of breast implants and labiaplasty. Unnecessary cosmetic surgery sometimes results in death. Women appearing in pornography are almost always bereft of androgenic hair. Thus men are trained to see this as womens’ natural state and anything else as disgusting.
Despite efforts to characterize all those who voice opposition to pornography as prudes or members of the religious right, it is the pornography industry that thrives upon moral/sexual conservativism. Consider, for instance, the term “cum dumpster”. Why would a man equate his semen with garbage? Why would the object of any man’s sexual desire be a receptacle for garbage? The term shows the shame and disgust with which we are taught to regard sex and women (who are equated with sex). Pornographers eroticize that shame and disgust and capitalize upon it. “Filthy”, “dirty” and “nasty” are also favorite words of pornographers. Far from celebrating sex, pornography says that sex is disgusting. 
Although it is relentlessly marketed as sexual liberation, pornography is anything but. Pornography is oppression. To be really sexually liberated is to be free from a mandated sexuality that is based upon dominance, submission and consumption. 

PREVALENT PRO-PORNOGRAPHY ARGUMENTS AND THIS AUTHOR’S REBUTTALS:

The performers in pornography are consenting  adults acting of their own free will. They are paid for their work. It is their choice!
This is usually the first argument deployed by the pornography apologist, powerful because it invokes “choice”. In a consumer culture, “choice” is seen as paramount.
What must be considered here is what makes choice truly valuable. As meaningful work is not readily available to most people, the primary considerations when deciding to whom one shall sell one’s labor are often rate of pay and degree of indignity to be suffered. The fact that some people choose to appear in pornography is largely a testament to the failure, from a humanitarian perspective, of the wage system.
Some pornography (e.g. Crack Whore Confessions and Coeds Need Cash) focus upon the eroticized economic desperation of the women appearing therein. Her need and the consequent power of the pimp over her is supposed to be part of the kick.
A large number (often estimated at 60-90%) of women in the sex trade are victims of childhood sexual abuse. Former pornograhy performer Carol Smith in Not For Sale (ed. Stark and Whisnant):
When you suffer from childhood sexual abuse or were severely abused as a child, you usually repress those memories. You are unable to say, “I am doing this because I was abused as a child and this is all I know how to do. This is all I know how to feel.” … You either totally go a whole different direction and turn your life around and get as far away from that abuse as you can – or you re-live the experience, and a lot of these women are re-living what they know how to feel.
Some of the women in pornography are the victims of physical coercion and/or trafficking. They have no choice at all.
Certainly, there are women who were not abused and who are not economically disadvantaged beyond the fact that they arewomen in a male-supremacist culture. A few of them have chosen to work in pornography. Does their choice justify the existence of an industry that is, on the whole, abusive? Certainly not.
The consumers of pornography make the purely selfish choice to support rather than resist this industry. It is their choices, not those of the women in pornography, that should be vociferously attacked.
Pornography is just fantasy.
Fantasy is imaginative conceptualization; it happens in the head. Pornography happens in the material world and it happens to people.
Pornography is an outlet for men who aren’t having sex. Men need to blow off steam.
Even if we were to accept the validity of these bizarre electrical/hydraulic metaphors, pornography is not requisite to masturbation.
Pornography is an aspect of sexual liberation.
Why would anyone believe that people are more free by virtue of the fact that they are paying for something? Pornography is an industrial product and the purchase of a product never set anyone free. A truly sexually liberated society would be one in which people engaged only in sex that was mutually desired, enjoyed it without shame and never paid a cent for it. Anyone who believes that sitting in front of a screen masturbating to images of abject debasement is an exercise of freedom has a pathetic concept of freedom.
There’s no proof that pornography influences behaviour.
It would be silly to think that it didn’t. If television shows can influence fashion and advertisements can convince healthy women that they are overweight and impel men to buy “natural male enhancement” products, why would pornography not influence the way people behave toward one another sexually and otherwise? Why is it believed that pornography is the one kind of media that has no effect in society?
There’s exploitation in lots of other industries.
Exploitation in one place does not diminish or justify exploitation elsewhere. If we accept it to be true that appearing in pornography is no more degrading than working at McDonalds then we have an argument against fast food rather than for pornography. 
What about gay porn?
Most pornography is made for the heterosexual market by means of male dominance and reinforces male dominance over women. When other men are substituted for women due to the demand of a subset of consumers, exploitation is still present and dominance is still reinforced.
If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. There is no constitutional right not to be offended.
One can choose not to watch it, but will inevitably have to deal with it anyway as it has thoroughly permeated our culture. There are now pornographic and quasi-pornograhic images practically everywhere, being used to sell practically everything.
My argument, however, is about the harms of pornography, not anyone’s personal distaste. To characterize a feminist or humanist critique of pornography as a matter of someone being merely offended is either a failure of comprehension or a deliberate trivialization.
But pornography is where I go for new ideas. I learned all my sex moves from porn.
Then you are to be pitied. You have the same “moves” as all of the other men who recieved the same sexual indoctrination.
What about free speech? The First Amendment?
Pornography is free speech, but for whom? Not for the women who assume the dictated poses and utter the words of the pimps. Their mouths have been co-opted. Pornography is free speech only for the pornographers; and what do they say that is deemed so worth defending?
That women are whores, cum dumpsters and cock sockets.
In this world, people are imprisoned and killed for speaking out against murderous despots while over-entertained Westerners exalt the likes of Larry Flynt as fearless freedom fighters. Perhaps we should think a bit more carefully about what censorship really is.
I am not advocating the banning of pornography. That would be ineffectual in curbing demand and would probably result in even poorer “working” conditions for prostituted people. Nonetheless, I will point out that the First Amendment does not protect speech that also constitutes act. Libel and slander are not protected. A sign that reads “WHITES ONLY” is speech but, as it is an act of discrimination, not protected. Pornography is both discrimination and harm.
I like to think that the authors of the First Amendment, in including the free speech clause, had in mind such things as political dissent and not a man in a cowboy hat urinating down a teenager’s throat. Of course, they were slave owners, so who knows?

Sunday, September 11, 2016

The 'C' Word

A male friend, who fairly frequently refers to people he hates as a 'c..t',  recently commented that he doesn't understand my problem with the 'c' word.  Heavy, protracted sigh.

My first reaction is to wonder why he doesn't understand why I, and other women would have an issue with it. Okay, deep breath: for a start - and I lament that this is not obvious to him and others - it's extravagantly misogynistic. The pretty much universally agreed-upon worst name you can call someone is a synonym for women's genitals. That part of a women's body that heterosexual men desire, yet conversely also apparently hate.

This man, who, in the throws of anger at someone, will use the 'c' word because, to him it is the worst insulting name he can dredge up from the dark swamp of abjectly hateful insults in his mind, in order to communicate the deep level of hatred he feels towards that person. The female genital area: the worst thing a person can be apparently.

He says to me, "...but 'c..t' is just a sound." Why would I have an issue with a sound? If it was just a sound, devoid of socially agreed upon meaning, and if all words are just innocent, innocuous, meaningless sounds, why not then call someone you hate a 'pillow' or a 'rock' or a 'chair'? The 'c' word provokes an involuntary response in the hearer - the semiotic connection to a woman's vulva, vagina and clitoris is received by the ears of the hearer simultaneously with the velocity and pejorative power of the word as the worst, lowest insult imaginable.

The 'c' word is one of the favoured sexual abusive terms, a porn 'actress' is directed to use towards herself. This is apparently arousing to men: to hear a woman - who is being violently penetrated for male 'entertainment' - moan and beg: 'please fuck me, I am a worthless 'c..t', 'slut', 'whore' etc.. and variations thereof.  So women are to be used and abused, raped and tortured because they are dirty, smelly, worthless 'c..ts'.  So it is synonymous with 'slut' and 'whore': two of the worst things you can call a woman. The lowest, most reviled thing a woman is considered to be, yet also most desired by men who are aroused by such words and connotations;  aroused by porn 'stars' verbally abusing themselves and  being verbally abused by men. A 'c..t is essentially a raped body part.: that which must ideally always be available for male use and abuse.

The use of the word as an insult - sexual and otherwise - acts to reinforce a dehumanisation of women by reducing them to mere body parts. The word reduces women to the one essential essence: our offence. There is a movement amongst feminists that seeks to reclaim the word not only as acceptable, but as an honorific, in much the same way that 'queer' has been re-appropriated by LGBT people and the word 'nigger' has been by some African-Americans. 

The 'c' word has a long history and there have been times when it was not considered derogatory. But, until another semiotic shift returns it to being inoffensive and to no longer being the worst hatred-grenade of a word  that could ever be hurled,  then it is a 'sound' that will continue to reinforce women as hateful, second-class bodies that are simultaneously desired and considered disgusting.

                                                       ***

                                                                 -Mountain Daughter

Friday, July 8, 2016

The Effects of Porn on Relationships



Men who watch pornography do not respect women. Least of all; the real-life woman they are in a relationship with. And she cannot respect him. I personally would rather be alone than be with a porn watcher.

The multi-billion per year pornography industry's speciality is the demeaning dehumanising, degradation and abuse of human beings. It is not only that porn represents violence towards women, but its very existence is violence towards women. This capitalist  systematic oppression of women and girls, was created in our patriarchal society for men, by men. It is akin to wars. Wars are created for profit through abuse and death. The majority of 'users'  of porn are still by far, men.  Porn watching affects how boys and men view women and affects expectations of sexual contact.





Porn is not a realistic depiction of sex, yet many boys and men believe it is. This creates issues when it comes to being in a relationship.  Generally, men who watch porn are sexually selfish.  They favour replicating the male pleasure portrayed in porn videos that is derived from the violent, repetitive subjugation of women. Pleasure at a women's pain. When women reach the peak of arousal, close to orgasm, they tend to go quiet. Women in porn videos are moaning and groaning, acting aroused and men expect their real-life partners to do the same. The reality is that women and girls in porn are experiencing pain and are working hard at hiding it. Myth: women who do porn love sex. This is PR (propaganda) lies. Women are ACTING. None of it is real. The sex itself is painful and they are exposed to all kinds of abuses, by the pornographers and people on set. The women get through it by numbing themselves with drugs and/or alcohol, disconnecting themselves as much as possible from the whole ordeal. Most women in porn just do one or two videos and get out. There is a high turn-over rate. The experices is so painful, horrifying and humiliating, they never want to do it again.

 Men who watch porn favour sex without intimacy, without love - wanting their partners to behave like the women in porn videos.  Being used. Porn is not a true representation of sex. It is violence against women, using women's bodies for male pleasure. It is degrading and cruel. Pornography lies; it tells men that women are tools to be used, and men are inevitable predators. Middle-age men are mentally penetrating women who are young enough to be their grand-daughters.


If boys believe that online pornography provides a realistic view of sexual relationships, then this may lead to inappropriate expectations of girls and women. Girls too may feel pressured to live up to these unrealistic, and perhaps non-consensual, interpretations of sex. This is clearly not positive for developing future healthy relationships. Porn portrays the conquering and using of female bodies as the ideal display of masculinity. 





If your boyfriend or husband is looking at porn, he is looking at a vast number of naked women for his own sexual pleasure. How is that not cheating?  Instead of lusting after you, he's in the bathroom with his computer. If he is watching porn, it isn't fantasising, but rather the images have colonised his brain. This becomes addictive. Media affects behaviour and desires.  And he would rather be with these other women whilst masturbating instead of being with you. Or  he is watching these women in order to get aroused so he has an erection so he can have sex with you. This creates distance between two people who ideally would be aroused by their love and liking for one another and the desire to celebrate the relationship in a physically intimate way.  

The depiction of sex in porn videos does not exactly encourage men to be sexually creative and giving with their partner. Men who watch a lot of porn, tend to be more sexually selfish. They just want to replicate what they've been watching. If your male partner is on the computer while you are lying in bed alone, and he then comes into the bedroom in an advanced state of arousal, you pretty much know what he's been doing. He then gets into bed wanting sex. But it is not slow, long-lasting foreplay. His touch is hurried and brief. At the first hint of wetness, he penetrates you, while thinking about what he's just been watching. Or he wants you to give him a BJ, while he thinks about the women he was just watching and what was done to them
Jacqueline Gwynne's experience is that of most women who have been intimate with men who 'use' pornography:

"Women don't need to watch porn to masturbate. Why do men? Most men lack spontaneity and creativity in bed because of porn. It is completely unnecessary. I would have to say that pretty much all the men I have had sexual relationships are boring and useless in bed because of porn. They have no sense of fun or playfulness. They are obsessed with their own orgasm and are mechanical. God I wish I was a lesbian. No porn is good. If you respect women, don't watch porn."




Some of the best sex of my life has been with men who do not watch porn. They are giving, creative, loving, and aroused by arousing me.  A woman finds herself being extra giving to these men too: the most salient reason for this being that a woman is more open to, and enthusiastic about, someone she respects. These men really love 'foreplay' and want it to last for as long as possible. For them, sex is not all about servicing the penis - it's about playful, relaxed and extended play and connecting. These men ask how they can give pleasure. What makes them great lovers is not just their technique; creative and adventurous love-making skills. It is their ability to be emotionally present, intimate, loving and intensely passionate. There is a lot of direct eye contact - you know it is you they are making love to. One of these men told me he doesn't look at 'men's magazines' because they are "disrespectful of women".  Another one said he had used porn in the past, and it interfered with intimacy with his then partner.  Emily Weir comments; 

              "Took me a while to find him, but there are some great men out there.  Part of me wishes I hadn't wasted so much time on the porn-using ones, if I could tell my younger self anything it'd be that. My history's been a mix of both and there's a big difference in how they act. Even just making eye contact, talking and asking what you like instead of just reciting porno lines as he does his thing."





Some men who watch a lot of porn end up having erectile dysfunction. They are accostomed to the immediate gratification that porn provides, so when it comes to the real thing, they can't get aroused. They are addicted to watching a variety of women and girls serve the penis in various ways - most of them demeaning and violent - and then have expectations of their partner to behave the same way. And because the reality of this one real-life woman who wants reciprocal sex, the man can't get aroused. It's a vicious circle if he thinks that watching porn will be a way to get an erection so he can make love to his partner.  


"Heterosexual Internet pornography has dramatically altered images of sexuality. Heterosexual US men are experiencing increasing difficulty performing sexually, from maintaining erections, to focusing on partners during sex, to having orgasms at all. Many men have grown so accustomed to the breakneck pace with which pornography offers hundreds of images that they can no longer maintain arousal or concentration during the comparatively slow interactive process of actual sex. Additionally, many viewers have unconsciously associated anonymity with arousal, resulting in a failure to either engage in or appreciate the intimacy that often accompanies real sex. Men in record numbers report being unable to complete sexual acts that involve another live person. A recent University of Kansas study found that 25 percent of college-age men said they'd faked orgasms with women because they could not have orgasms without pornography. " *





 I wish men didn't justify their 'use' of porn by saying ignorant things like, "it's harmless - just people doing what they enjoy".  Or, "it's fine because they get paid for it." So money makes it magically okay for these individual women to reduce their identities to the sexual uses and abuses of their bodies? Women choose to do porn for the money, because they are in a desperate situation and feel they have no other choice. But they end up spending most of what they earn on cosmetics, keeping themselves looking good, and on the drugs and alcohol required to get through a shoot. Many girls and women are coerced and threatened into it. Many porn videos are actually filmed rapes and it's not possible for a man watching, to know this. 

How is money fair compensation? How is that empowering? So-called 'liberal' feminists say it is. They say that women who do porn enjoy it. This is a fallacy: porn propaganda. The tiny percentage of prostituted women ( I hate the term 'porn stars' , as it's an attempt to glamorise ) who say they enjoy 'acting' in porn have self esteem issues, usually due to having a history of being sexually abused. Most of these women are damaged people who have problematical backgrounds. There is nothing empowering about prostituting yourself. That is akin to chickens getting to choose what size cage they will be confined to. 'Radical' feminists want to dismantle, not only the chicken shed, but the whole capitalist organisation that exists to profit from the slavery of chickens.  

The men who manufacture such justifications, are thinking with the wrong head. Watch it without the hard-on, without masturbating - just SEE it.  See the violence, the dehumanising, the commodification of women's bodies. Acts like 'face fucking', 'double-anal' are more now the norm. Think about the people who endure such degradation, pain and physical suffering, so you can have an orgasm.  Most women in porn only last a couple of years. They suffer from vaginal and anal prolapsing and have to undergo surgeries. If these women continue in porn, they take pain killers. What is it like to be aroused by such abuse? Male supremacist sexuality decreeing women's bodies  be used as commodities to be brutalised for male pleasure.

Porn is destructive, violent and exploitative.  It is hurtful to those women who are affected by a partner's use of it.  Women feel cheated on. The flow that exists between two people is damaged. As Ed Drain says;


             "You know how when you work really well with certain people, you can get this kind of team-flow going on? Well I think couples are like that. When someone cheats with porn they are stealing that good flow from their own couple. Part of what makes it worse is that it is soooo pathetic! It's like they are shouting to the world that they are such losers they could not even work it out with someone who probably wants to work it out, and they are so gutless they cant have an honest conversation with their partner." 


Women are loving and wanting to connect physically with their partner.  Adventurous, sexy and open, desiring him to desire her. Yet he would rather watch two dimensional images of other women, than have fun and intimacy with the person who loves him. 




Women feel cheated on, whether her man is getting aroused by the exploitation of women in videos, or has an addiction to regularly looking at soft-porn, e.g. 'eye candy' on the internet or in 'men's magazines'.  Images of naked or semi-naked women in sexual positions are designed to evoke a masturbatory response  They are not innocuous. Women in postures of sexual enticement and readiness reinforce the notion that women can be purchased. They have been reduced to two dimensional consumables that can be bought, used then disposed of.   Men argue that it isn't cheating because the women they are masturbating to are two dimensional. As Daisy Reeves writes: "They [men] need to create arbitrary distinctions to rationalise what they're doing. I asked my dude if he thought hiring a prostitute for the purpose of voyeuristic exploits would be cheating, he said he did. The arbitrary distinction is the venue, apparently."


 Sophia comments;  "I felt hurt, betrayed, disrespected. I was shocked that my husband at the time had such little understanding of the sexual exploitation that he was viewing, I was shocked that he thought this was ok, that he valued women so little.
I caught him many times. He didn't understand the harm he was doing, not just to me, not just to our relationship, but to women in general.
He still doesn't get it and he still doesn't know why he is divorced, as "he did so much for me and the marriage"....I am cast as the crazy ex.
And as to men claiming it makes them better lovers...ummm no, it doesn't."


Porn is the opposite of making love. It is hatred. It is exploitation of impoverished, vulnerable women and girls. By watching porn you are fuelling sex trafficking and sexual exploitation.

I was once told by a man that my skin is as smooth as a 'porn star's'. I know he meant it as a compliment, but I didn't feel like thanking him. He went on to tell me that 'if a 'porn star's' skin is not smooth, then a guy goes onto the next one.' Not only did that comment tell me he watches pornography, it told me he doesn't see porn as in any way exploitative, that I should be fine with him watching it, and that he holds women in porn up to be the epitome of all that is beautiful.  There is nothing beautiful about women being abused. 

Men who look at such images/videos and masturbate to them, do not respect women and women - myself included - cannot possibly respect them. Many women choose to forgo relationship with a man whom they know or suspect to be porn users. So men, is it worth losing the woman who loves you? I'll end with the words of a fellow critic of pornography, James Hunt, replying to a young man who was justifying his 'use' of porn: 

"It is not just a crusade of anti-porn, it's an inherent belief that women are not men's playthings to be used and discarded, as porn teaches young men like yourself. That porn is the absolute opposite of healthy sexuality, connection.
Some day you will find that woman whom you will fall in love with, and this porn that you say should just be ignored by her, will alter/destroy what sexual connection you as a man and that woman will desperately yearn for.
Read more, educate yourself on what porn does to women, to you, to relationships, to the world."

                                               ***


                                                       -Mountain Daughter


Most of the quotes in article, used with permission, from comments on posts in the Refuse to Date Men Who Watch Porn Facebook group.

 *(Capitalism and Loneliness: Why Pornography Is a Multibillion-Dollar Industry. by Tess Fraad Wolff and Haarriet Fraad, Truthout / Op-Ed. 2011 http://www.truth-out.org/opinion/item/5791:capitalism-and-loneliness-why-pornography-is-a-multibilliondollar-industry ) 

Useful Links:


Fight the New Drug: Is Watching Porn the Same As Cheating On Your Significant Other?


http://fightthenewdrug.org/is-watching-porn-cheating-on-your-partner/


http://mattfradd.com/5-myths-about-porn/ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU 

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/pornography_is_what_the_end_of_the_world_looks_like_20150215

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephen-arterburn/sexually-incompetent-men-_b_4086075.html?

http://www.feministcurrent.com/2016/07/26/the-triumph-of-the-pornographers/

https://medium.com/@emmalindsay/porn-makes-men-terrible-in-bed-6e4df5f73200#.c4ip35qfl

http://www.feministcurrent.com/2014/04/04/feminism-is-the-new-misogyny-on-belle-knox-feminism-and-the-new-backlash/ 

http://www.wsj.com/articles/take-the-pledge-no-more-indulging-porn-1472684658

http://www.feministcurrent.com/2015/12/14/shit-liberal-feminists-say-choice/

http://yourbrainonporn.com

http://fightthenewdrug.org/the-porn-industrys-dark-secrets/

https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/former-porn-star-porn-was-the-worst-darkest-thing-ive-ever-been-involved-in